Wednesday 16 January 2008

Thodasa Rumani Ho Jaye

Me:" How was the wedding mom?"
Mom: " Oh! the function was fantastic, everybody came except you. beta, its about time you should get transfer at least to Pune."
Me: "yeah, Mom I am trying but this current project is really good, Moreover I can see this Hyderabad as a land full of opportunities"
Mom: "what does that mean?"
Me: "ummm!!!! (pause) How was the wedding mom?"

6 months later....
Me:" So you been to Kranti's godh bharai??"
Mom: "You know, even Kranti's husband started his work from Bangalore and within 2 months he got new job in Mumbai"
Me: "how is Kranti?"

3 months later....
Me" I have attended a telephonic interview for a job in Mumbai"
Mom: " Waah!! so when are you shifting?"
Me: "maa! its just an interview, I personally need to be there for one more interview, but the offer looks interesting"
Mom: " All the best, beta. when are you coming to Mumbai then"
Me: Ahh!! they are OK with this weekend"
Mom: " What should I prepare for you?"
Me: "Anything will do...but yeah make some rawa laddoos"
Mom: " Jyotsna bua was asking about you, now even Prachi got placed through campus"
Me: "Great! how is she?"
Mom: " Should I invite them for this weekend?? Its been ages you have met Jyotsna bua and even Prachi, She looks so beautiful. So should I?"
Me: "How is dad?"

tring tring....
Me:" Hello mam, long time no see. Where you have been?"
Mam: "Hey, you know I am getting married...next month, the guy is working as an onsite co-coordinator fro XYZ co."

Phone dropped... Me: f**k...yeh bhi!

2 weeks later....
Me: "maa!!..you remember the interview I attended...I got through it, they are offering what I asked for. I am so happy Mom"
Mom: "What!!! that company is in Mumbai na!"
Me: "yes ma! I am coming to Mumbai"
Mom: " You serious??? I cant belive, It's been 3 years now"
Me: "yeah I know, but....finally I am coming back"
Mom: "Let me tell that to Jyotsna bua"
Me: "Jyotsna bua?? why??"
Mom: " When are you starting??"


1 month later...back home, Mumbai ..on yahoo messenger

Me: " So, what else you like?"
SweetySavita: " ma fav going 2 disc, freaking out wid frens and ....u really like 2 no, honey?"
XXXXXXBLOCKEDXXXXXXXX

Me: "How was your weekend?"
CuteKavita: " as usual"
Me: " So any plans for this week?"
CuteKavita: "No, same routine"
Me: "Hows work going on?"
CuteKavita: "I don't want to talk about it"
Me: "You watched Jodha Akbar?"
CuteKavita: "I hate movies"
Me: "Tomorrow is India Vs Australia finals"
CuteKavita: "No interest in sports"
Me: "So, what do you like (arghhhhhh!!!)
CuteKavita: "Ohh! It's 10 I better go to sleep, it was fun chatting with you" (really??)

tring tring.......

Me:" Hey madam, you just don't talk to me ohk! it's been 2 months that you have called me and you didn't even reply to my scraps, no online nothing what's the matter?"
She: " I am getting married..."
Me: "Ohh!! Congrads"

26 is not the age of frustration, It isn't the age to be a single.

Hi, I am 26, frustrated and single too. Being a strong beliver of Hindi movies and specially Yash Chopra movies, he has said in Dil to pagal hain (even in DDLJ and Chandani and Lamhe and Veer Zara) that there is someone somewhere is made for each one of us... Really??

Mumbai job was perfect, good profile, well paid and in hometown, what more can we ask for?
Some more fun??

Here no freaking out with colleagues till 8.30 -9.00, you are left with 10% energy level till you reach at home, no gym, hardly any movies at weekends but good food, family life and yeah family functions.

Mom: " Don't keep anything for sunday, we are going for Sanjeev's wedding"
Me: "Maa! I have stopped going out on weekends, my frieds; they are either at abroad or married"
Mom: " Why don't you get married, Sanjeev is 20 months younger than you"
Me: "Is it? he looks quite older na!"
Mom: "Shut up, and haan! while getting home collect your sherwani from dry cleaningwala"
Me: "Sherwani? in month of May, you crazy?"
Mom:" But that looks good on you"
Me: "Ma, they say I look nice even in T shirt and jeans"
Mom: "Who they?"
Me: "My friends"
Mom: "Shall I ask you something?"
Me: "Shoot"
Mom: "Do you have girlfriend?"

tring tring...


Me: "Bolo Sirji, kaisan ho?" (Sirji; a colleague, a friend and a big time despo)
Sirji: “Problem hain"
Me: “I know"
Sirji: “You know?"
Me: "Of course project deadline on Friday and testing review tomorrow, problem toh hona hi hain"
Sirji: "Not that re....I am getting married"
Me: "What???"

Me and Sirji at office cafeteria...

Me: "How could you say, yes?"
Sirji: "Check out her snap"
Me: "So, when is the engagement?"

I can't believe Sirji is getting married. It was never a question of Sirji liking someone....as long she is a girl Sirji likes her. But how can she approved him? I mean look at her. She is so....................
Confession: I am jealous.

At Sanjeev's wedding....
Sheela mausi: "What is your salary?"
Ratan mama: "I never heard name of your company, my brother-in-law works in Godrej"
Chintu: "What is software?"
Prabhakar kaka: "Do you smoke?"

: "Hi"
Me: "Prachi?" (Mom was right she is beautiful)
Prachi: "Bingo!"
Me: "No confusion! Great Combination" (Yeh kehnese pehle mein mar kyun nahi gaya?)
Prachi: "WHAT?"
Me: "No Nothing"
Prachi: "So how are you?"
Me: "You tell, I am standing in front of you"
Prachi: "You put on some weight?"
Me: (shuutts!!) " blame ma for that, otherwise I am still the same. How is the new job?"
Prachi: "Oh it's great, Project is ultimate, except the PM. He is one big %$%&*^%"
Me: (Have I heard it right? I remember Prachi used to make lots of spelling mistakes..she must have mistakenly used that word...or ?) "Well, its the same situation, even my PM is one big.................. (I can't).... (Let's try...u can do it).... (No ..I can't)..."I mean he is pretty bad manager" (Hushh!!!...looser)
Prachi: " I am getting promoted next month"
Me: "WHHAT??" (I realized that I overreacted ...in fact I heard "I am getting married" hihihi) "Congrads...promotion so soon..And onsite?"
Prachi: "Yeah; that too, my visa is ready just waiting for client's approval"
Me: (Stop it Prachi I can't take it anymore!!!)
Confession: I am jealous.
Prachi: "You know, Sanjeev dada's wife is 3 years older than him"
Me: "So what, love marriage mein sabkuchh chalta hain?"
Prachi: "My boyfriend is also 3 years younger than me"

. End Of Part-1

Saturday 12 January 2008

Prologue

Why Mumbai chaat???
Well every place is special and famous for something or the other; like Agra is famous for Taj, Kolkata for it's sweets, Bangalore for it's IT business and how can we forget Dilli ki ladkiyan?
What is Mumbai famous for??

Gateway of India [nahh! वैसे तो दिल्ली में भी India Gate हैं ]
Bollywood [ तो क्या साऊथका Tollywood किसीसे कम हैं क्या?]
Local trains की भीड़ [ well, that's not something we should be proud of]
मुंबई का समण्दर nope! पर समण्दर किनारे मिलनेवाली चाट जो शायद उस समण्दर के रेत जितनीही पुरानी हैं
चाट चाहे हर जगह मिले पर मुंबई की चाट और उसका स्वाद कही और नही मिल सकता.
So this one is for My Mumbai and the things u can get\happen\enjoy\suffer only in Mumbai