Simple Things That Irritate Me - Part 1

Now, this is the area where I become certified Ass -a- hole. I have very limited zone of tolerance, anything beyond that makes me cringe, or makes me jump of my seat and shout STOP IT. Perhaps that's the reason I never had a great luck with girls. [we will talk in detail about it later]

So back to the simple things that irritates me, since there is a long list, this post comes in parts.

Ma, Mah, Moi and other Virtual World Freaks: Somehow I am unable to understand the desperate need of being CONNECTED with the world. The revolution called social networking where Orkut\Facebook\Twitter accounts are as important as (or sometimes even more important than) your passport. Initially I thought  It's amongst Teenage only. After all its the problem with that age, when 'u Typ Lik Dis' and  you find Shahid Kapoor and Shahrukh Khan as cool.

But NO, it's like Swine Flue....It's god damn everywhere and with almost everyone.

I remember sometime in 2005 when I sign up for Orkut, the first thing I did to search if someone exists with my surname, there wasn't anyone. 5 years later the count goes to whopping 500+. Yeah, it was fun initially but now it sucks bigtime, and what suck more are the addicted adolescent admirers of this world. I really don't understand their urge  to butcher every other English word e.g. MY becomes Ma, Mah or Moi for no valid reason.

And there is severity and priority of social networking, Twitter somehow belongs to elite class as most of celebs are there, getting CONNECTED with them is new IN thing. Besides its quite easy with 140 letters...tweet getting sweet. 

Then there is Facebook... undoubtedly it's becoming most popular and simultaneously most annoying product lately.

No, I do not want to update if I am having lose motions or sex, I really don't care how much u score in wazzup or what gift you want to send me from Farmville or Cafe World, Oh you beat my score in some lame quiz 'I simply DON'T CARE'. It's giving rise to new mutual admiration society, where you LIKE everything about other and you COMMENT on anything.

I remember one incidence - 

"Hey Nice pic on Facebook"

"Can you comment on the same?"

"but I am telling you na"

"Don't tell me here, please comment on photo"

But I must admit, it helps you to remember birthday's of your long-forgotten acquaintances and comes handy when someone changes his or her RELATIONSHIP STATUS or for that matter COUNTRY \CITY\ STATE, or to ghuss in or ghuss out in someone's personal matters :P
Don't misunderstood me as an asocial animal, in spite of the random rambling about these networking sites, you can catch me on Facebook & Orkut.  ;-)

Special Appearance Specialist

An accidental visit to Abhishek Bachhan's IMDB page made me realize that he is actually specialized in cameos.
This guy appeared in 12 movies for blink and miss roles. Many of them even I don't remember.

• Hum Tum - As Rani's husband, all I remember is his gyan session to Saif where he says "Hamare andar kahi na kahi ek bachha chhupa hua hain" Sadly (or luckily) he dies right after his marriage in the movie.
• Rakht -Ok this might be more memorable with his "ONE LOVE" act
• Salaam Namaste - One of the most obnoxious cameos, as a narrator and a doctor who delivers Preity's baby in the movie. Arghh!! the climax shamelessly copied from Friends episode
• Home Delivery - Yes, I am the few one who survived from 'Home Delivery' he was there too.
• Ek Ajanabee - I really don't know that he appeared in this movie as well
• Neal N' Nikki - And there are few movies that I chose to skip, Neal n' Nikki was one of them and if IMDB says that he was in a movie, then he really was.
• Alag - This movie had 'Mile Sur Mera Tumhara' types song, where almost everyone from Bollywood came together and sing 'Sabse Alag' Abhishek was one of 50 actors appeared in it.
• Lage Raho Munnabhai - As Sunny KKhurana, we ditches his dad and jyotish Batuk to marry Lucky Singh's daughter....not a bad cameo to do-  I must say!
• Ram Gopal Varma ki Aag - Arrgh! this is one of league of Neal n' Nikki that I chose not to see.
• Om Shanti Om - As himself, finally getting a filmfare for Dhoom 5. Because he was NOT IN THE FILM
• Mission Istanbul - Did not see, Don't even care.
• Luck by Chance- I particularly liked this cameo, where how politely he turns down Rishi Kapoor's offer. 

I wish he would have given a guest appearance in Raavan as well. Undoubtedly one of the most faltered performance of the year. Anyways So here you go 'Abhishek Bachhan'- Special Appearance Specialist

On Review

Anton Ego is a character from Ratatouille (2007) known in reviewer's circles as "The Grim Eater," Anton Ego is an unscrupulously hard-to-please reviewer.Towards the climax he reviews Chef Gusteau's restaturant. 
I found some quotes really striking about REVIEWS. 
Anton Ego's words as it is...
In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. 

Not SO Feverish

Well As everyone is saying...FIFA World Cup Fever is ON but I am not feeling so feverish....to start with I have never been a follower of soccer or foolball to say. But the sudden need arises every time when world cup comes...I remember my campus recruitment days when one of the interviewer asked about the previous days soccer match. The poor soul had no idea about it and the interviewers was amused. Ok I agree that soccer craze is picking up in India but give us a break...we are just not in it. 

It's 90 minutes of sheer excitement, full on adrenaline rush, dribble, tackle, kick and save, yeah we agree with all that but somehow the treatment you get when you save that "No, I do not watch football" is quite interesting. It's like "Oh you don't follow soccer and you like cricket?" is on same line as "Oh you don't like Facebook and you are still on Orkut?" Somehow for last few years Soccer taken over THE BEAUTIFUL GAME image (or reputation of Classy Sport), ofcorse it is THE MOST popular sport in the world, but not in India and certainly not to me.
I am still Ok, with genuine sport lovers who follow every league and championship, what piss me off the fake followers who emerges in every 4 years. I am sure most of them just browse few webpages so that they can brag about the sport over a lunch\dinner and coffee. And even most importantly can put it on their FB status, almost 7 out of 10 are FBees are putting something related to soccer on their status, perhaps unable to do so will make them out of sync. I have never heard team names like Ghana, Honduras, Ivory Island before; so forget about knowing their players name. I know my random rambling about the game is of no use but I just want to say to all those once-in-4-years soccer fans just stop faking it. It's ok if you don't watch Soccer....!!!

Rajneeti Reviewed

Rajneeti sets an ideal example of how-to-fool-an-audience-through-promos. When you see cotton sari clad Katrina Kaif moving amongst crowd, waving hands and delivering speeches on stage, looking almost like you-know-who. The first impression you get, oh! did Jha touched holy cows this time? With cast of Naseerudding Shah, Nana Patekar, Ajay Devan and Manoj Bajpai, you do expect performances of top notch.

So what's Rajneeti is about?...No It's not about the supposed first family of India (Jha did not touch the holy cow) it isn't about the new thinking lad in politics either. It's curry of Indian politics saute' with likes of Mahabharta & God-father. Jha is a director who knows his ground (though he lost it sometime back with movies like 'Dil Kya Kare' and 'Rahul') but then he returned to where he belongs to with 'Gangajal' and 'Apaharan'. Sadly 'Rajneeti' stands just in between his 'Gangajal' and 'Dil Kya Kare'. It isn't disappointment just because we have seen Kites recently. But for someone who are so fascinated with Indian Politics and it's dynamism it gives less full-filling experience.

It starts just the way Mahabharta did- Naseeruddin Shah in blink and miss (or in this case kiss and miss) role, disappears right after he realises that he has made one of his comrade pregnant, he goes into hiatus. And the job better left to Nana Patekar to get rid of the new born baby. The baby ofcorse turn out to be 'Karan' played by Ajay Devgan. Now Nana's role is bit confusing sometimes he looks like Bhishm and sometimes as Krishna, however all throughout movie he stands besides Rampal (mix of both Bheem & Yudhishtir) & Ranbir (Arjun) to guide them. And then we have Manoj Bajpai as Duryodhan and Katrina playing role of Draupadi and completing the circle.

The drama within Mahabharta itself is so gripping that Jha needless to borrow anything else.Still there is plot where Ranbir took charge of politics to set things right (???) is copy-pasted from Godfather. Now to all fairness the movie isn't bad at all. But with running time of almost 3 hours you need to carry a bit more patience with you.

Talking about the performances, I liked Nana and Manoj most, Ranbir again delivers an earnest performance and this is his 4th in a row. Wow!! this is like longest run for any new comer....Katrina tries her best to do whatever she has offered but frankly there isn't much for her to do. Ajay unfortunately got the really half-baked role to his credit, Devgan can do such roles even in his sleep. The case in note here is Arjun Rampal, boy... that guy falters and falters again. A total miscast by Jha, he neither seeks sympathy nor evokes any rage. Just as bland as tofu.

The movie promises more but delivers little less...however sure one time watch.

6th December 1992

"Aho kashala netay tyala shalet? kahi gadbad hou shakte ki" ("Why are you taking him to school? There might be some problem") my neighbour warned my mother as she was taking me to school at around 6:30 in the morning. However there were many speculations going around those days and my mother chose to give a deaf ear to friendly neighborhood's advice.

1992, I was in 4th standard and preparations for scholarship exam were in full swing, but somehow during lunch break we have been told that they are calling off for the day and afternoon batch will not have any classes. Then, I used to live in Kurla, ~70% Muslim populated and supposed to be communal sensitive area. My school was in Sion, and I used to come to school by train, 4th standard kid is too little to travel by his own, specially when the situation is not ideal.

But what was the situation out there? For 9 years old it was a bit more complex to comprehend. School authorities were not allowing kids to travel by their own and hence we have been asked to wait until parents will come to pick us up. The school was 80% empty by 11:00 AM and as time passed the eerie feeling was sulking in, even the empty school ground was not appealing any more, I was waiting there for almost 4 hours now and feeling of hunger was far away. It was 3:00 PM and there were only 4 of us, me, Praful, Trupti and  a peon (we used to call him mama). Trupti's mom came to take her home and as per what she told to mama, things were really bad out there. All I care was to go home. 30 minutes later I saw my both parents. I was happy to see mom there but equally surprised to see my father (isn't he supposed to be in office by now?) They thanked mama for staying with us and took me and Praful to nearest restaurant Gurukripa. The owner was about to close for the day at 3:45, but when he saw 2 kinds he allowed us to get in and we had some food. Soon Praful's dad came in and took him.

"What's the matter, what took you so long?" the obvious question from me to parents.

"There are no trains and we came walking till here" mom replied,

"So how would we get back to home?" I asked again.

"We will get to the Sion station and see how the things are" as baba replied, we have started walking towards station.

There was a huge crowd waiting at Sion station, railway announced one special train to Kalyan, may this was our only chance to get in train and reach home as soon as we can. We were desperate, so as every other person on that station. Somehow we could catch that train and reached home. There were policemen all over the place making even the daily route look so unfamiliar. There was a mosque almost 50 meter away from my home, and you could see it from window, as soon as we entered the home, my mom closed the window and said this will remain close for few days at least. Perhaps the first sign of fear coming to home. As I was at home my parents were still worried about both of my sisters who were still in college. One in Vidyavihar- a nearby suburb to Kurla and another at Mahim - an equally sensitive area. It took us 5:00 to reach home, an hour later my elder sister returned home. and by 6:30 we got a call that my second sister has reached safely at my aunt's place in Vile-Parle.

I have been told that my school will be closed for some days now. "Wow!!!"  that was my first reaction. Ignorance is bliss...very true. Someone called us, saying get to the terrace there is one jewellery shop has been set on fire. Of course I have been asked to stay at home only. But no complains....no school for few days, I was really happy. I went to the sleep without worrying that I need to get up early for school tomorrow.

This post is not to open any debate or make any stand. It's neither to support or oppose what happened on and after 6th December.....it's just to tell what happened on 6th December from a 9 year old's point of view. But almost 18 years later I still do not know what we got out of it. Some might say it's Hindu's revenge, some might say a payback or some might call it an action better late than never. It's still hard to comprehend for me what all this worth for? Perhaps only raam jane (God Ram only knows)

He is 'Back'

Two back to back trailers to re-assure that he is really back. Yes, the HIMESH RESHAMIYA is ooooooowing again with Kajrare (Himesh as Actor, Singer & Music Director- tripple Dhamaka) and Milenge Milenge (one more comeback, where Kapoor Duo - Shahid Kareena will try to grab some lost chemistry). Now You can hate him, curse him or make jokes of him but you just can't simply ignore him. I remember then Himesh (much before his cap or Chinese weird hairdo) was really sweet to ear, that was the time when Jatin Lalit were losing their touch, Nadeem-Shravan were too irregular and Anu Malik's downfall was just started. A perfect time for someone who can play with typical bollywood melodies to make a mark and so he did, an otherwise forgettable movies like Kahin Pyaar Na Ho Jaaye (Sawariya re O Sawariya, Oh Priya O Priya and Title Track), Dulhan Hum Le Jayenge (Mujhse Shadi Karogi, Title Track), Hello Brother (Teri chunariya dil le gayee, Title Track) and Pyaar Kiya To Darna Kya (Odhli chunariya) did survive just for it's hummable music.

Then some big banners and big hits happened to him, Humraaz (Abbas-Mustan), Tere Naam (Satish Kaushik) and Yeh Hai Jalwa (David Dhawan) to bring him in top league.

And then there was Aashique Banaya Aapne, it was late 2005, I was just landed in Hyderabad and all I could hear was 'oooooo of Himesh; Tollywood has very strong hold in Hyderabad and you hardly get to hear any Hindi songs in autos, but not this time. ABA's music was a runaway hit. Except the one song 'Jindagi jo bit jaye' that was shamelessly copied from Ali Jafar's 'Rangeen', rest of album was really interesting piece of music. May be he has given something really hatke to people, otherwise check out the music happened in 2005, Zeher, Shabd, Parineeta, Dus, Bluffmaster etc.

Post ABA he actually became savior for those small budget movies with his kind of music.....whatever he was doing people were grabbing with both hands. The really sick movies like Aksar, Tom Dick & Harry, Anthony Kaun Hain, Rocky, Shadi se Pehle all were musically HIT. Now you may not remember single song from these movies but Himesh definitely rocked 2006, 2007.

But as in the world, every good thing comes to an end, so did his music....after a huge success of his music album 'Aap Ka Saroor' he decided to go for a movie Aap Kaa Surroor - The Real Luv Story ( and it's sequel Aap Kaa Surroor 2 - Ae Himesh Bhai - planned to release sometime in 2011 ). Himesh on screen as an actor looked awfully funny and pathetically awkward. After 3 releases we can safely say that he is not an actor and will never be.

I have no idea why I have written this biographical post for Himesh, but he is coming back and I am kind of happy.